Author: <span>Tevis Steere</span>

Confidence Depression Self-improvement By Tevis Steere 0 Comments

Life Path

Reaching Goals & Navigating Obstacles

How do we begin again & choose a new path towards achieving what we want in life & for yourself?

We are a desire driven species fueled by passion, motivation & inspiration as well as purpose. Whether it’s objects or careers we see things we want for ourselves & others. Some people seem to reach their goals while other loose aim of what they want for various reasons.

What determines whether we achieve our goals or not? Most often it’s the obstacles we face along the way. No matter what we want it’s inevitable that something will get in the way. Obstacles are neither positive or negative, they are simply there. How we choose to navigate them is our own free will. We are certainly challenged in life & even suffering is a part of our journey. We will likely suffer the loss of most of the people we meet in life. Most of life’s lessons are often painful ones. Other lessons have deep meaning in other memorable ways. I believe these are the times for us to gain knowledge & wisdom.

Quite often we avoid our feelings especially painful ones in an effort to manage life. At times some obstacles feel unnavigable & we feel like quitting, giving up or saying “f… it.”

Sometimes we struggle with the smallest of obstacles & feel overwhelmed if yet another obstacle reveals itself no matter it’s size. This is when individuals suffer the most especially if they have a history of being victimized or suffering meaninglessly.

When feelings are intense & people feel overwhelmed it’s hard to cope with obstacles. We have trouble learning from the choices we have made & often retreat into the misery we feel loosing the opportunity to learn & gain knowledge.

Pain & suffering can be our greatest teachers. We do not forget what matters to us. If we do not learn from our failures we are destined to repeat them. There is knowledge & wisdom to be gained from the meaning of our suffering. If we do not learn then it is meaningless suffering.

The path to achieving your goals is determined by what matters to you. You navigate the obstacles you face by keeping your aim on what truly matters especially when it is most challenging. When challenged we can gain wisdom from the meaning of the feelings we experience whether positive or negative.

Conversations about wisdom have resulted in defining it as, “knowledge gained through experience.” Or better yet, “knowledge gained through suffering.”

If we don’t learn from our feelings or suffering it’s meaningless suffering.

Call me at 502-295-5008 to further explore how to stay on path to reaching your destiny. It’s not far off in the future or down the road. It is the present, it’s the next choice right in front of you. The choice will either keep aim on your path or lead you off the path of getting what you want.

Tevis Steere, LCSW

Confidence Depression Individual Treatment Self-improvement Transition By Tevis Steere 0 Comments

Transition to Adulthood-Emerging Adults

There are many transitions in life and none are likely more difficult than the one leaving high school and moving towards making independent choices regarding education and occupation. There are countless messages on what course of actions towards Adulthood one “should” take from parents and society as well as culture and religion. Choosing your own path with the trusting influences of others can be stressful, isolating and even depressing! Adding the additional stress of moving away from home as well as the friends and dependable routines and environment you have known to trust can be overwhelming. Today’s socioeconomic environment as well as the social media phenomena has cultivated even higher expectations for today’s educational and occupational demands.

In my practice as a Family Therapist I have been meeting with many young adults and their parents struggling with this transition. If you or you are the parent of a young adult experiencing these challenges you are not alone. Call me to further discuss how I can be of assistance to you and your family!

502-295-5008

Anxiety By Tevis Steere 0 Comments

Tops Louisville

The Anxieties Related to the Experience of COVID-19 .

Article by Taylor Riley

School is out for the year, vacation time has been rearranged and you’ve been isolated with the same humans for what seems like a lifetime. Whether you’ve been diagnosed with anxiety or just are feeling extra stressed lately, you’re not alone. There are ways that you can boost your mood and feel better about the future, according to family therapist Tevis Steere, who practices at Steere Family Therapy.

You might be surprised to know that “anxiety is something everyone deals with on a regular basis,” Tevis says. So, it’s not just you with those racing thoughts and pulse. Times of isolation and lockdown can significantly increase anxiety, Tevis says, so most people are thinking negative thoughts during uncertain times. “People are handling this very differently,” Tevis said about the quarantine during the peak period in April. “Some people are thriving; some are functioning better,” he says. “Some are going to pieces and having trouble.”

We are all challenged on a daily basis when it comes to work, running errands and dealing with relationships, but usually people can deal with those stresses when they can understand what’s happening around them. During periods of uncertainty, however, it may feel like everything is closing in. How people deal with their stress, Tevis says, can be the difference between distorting reality and having unrealistic thoughts and being rational enough to create positive change.

During the quarantine, Tevis met with those dealing with stress and anxiety in unconventional ways like Zoom chats, FaceTime, by phone or by practicing outside. He says the appropriate response to anxiety is accept it––don’t fight it––and understand that you’re going to be anxious and then figure out how to work through it. By accepting the feeling, it cuts the feeling in half.

So, what if a family member in close quarters is dealing with the anxiety of isolation? Tevis says to first tell them you can see how they could feel that way and to nurture them on some level. Once they feel like someone is on their side, they will feel less anxious and more rational. When people are more secure and calm, they can feel less uncertainty. Next, ask them how you can contribute in a positive way. Maybe they can get away for a walk and get back to their true self. Focusing on the dynamics and identifying and practicing awareness can create a calm household, he says. We must step outside ourselves and not allow our loved ones to avoid feelings, because those can come back in a behavior later.

Tevis suggests adults remain calm for their children and allow them to talk openly. “It’s challenging and uncertain,” Tevis says, “(But we must) pay the appropriate amount of attention to challenges.” He says to allow the child to acknowledge their feelings in order to feel understood and feel better, and then help them solve the problem.

https://www.topslouisville.com/Read/9921/Anxiety+Getting+You+Down%3F

Children Therapy By Tevis Steere 0 Comments

Children and Divorce

Working through differences and saving a marriage is not always in the best interest of a family. Sometimes divorce is the answer and the best alternative for all family members. Not only is this realization difficult for husband and wife to achieve but their children are often left with uncertainties and misunderstandings. Helping children gain awareness of what is occurring in the family and what it means in regards to the current and future situation for them individually and for the family is essential to their well-being.

Children may exhibit resistance to change and their experience of uncertainties in many ways. Anger and anxiety can be expressed behaviorally in home or at school at times. Achieving an understanding and acceptance of how a child feels can often help them work through their emotions and change behaviors immediately. Everyone’s feelings matter and deserve to be acknowledged and understood.

Having parents sit down with their children and a professional can often provide some security and foundation immediately during the first session. Having both parents in attendance let the children know although arrangements will be different they are still a family parented and loved as well as supported by both mother and father. The children’s well-being is often the most sensitive and significant element of the process requiring nurturance and guidance to work through these difficult times. With the professional help these young individuals can come through with a sense of resiliency and confidence to work through other challenges the may face in their lifetime!

Couples Therapy By Tevis Steere 0 Comments

Couples/Marriage Therapy

Couples begin to develop a relational dynamic between them after living together for some time. I often see young couples one to three years after marriage or living together under the same roof. For better or for worse a dynamic begins to occur in relation to how we speak to each other. Certain expectations and assumptions of how and where the conversation is going begin to emerge. This predictability can be beneficial and empathetic to those we care for and can help understanding within a relationship occur.
Unfortunately the same expectations and assumptions can lead to misinterpretation and misunderstanding. Judgement and criticism can often be received without intent and lead to a negative scripted outcome between two individuals. It can begin to feel like basic communication without conflict is not possible. Countless times couples will come into my office with this description of their relationship feeling misunderstood and alienated from one another. These feelings are real and anyone in a relationship has felt this way at one time or another!
When meeting with these couples I first commend them for their awareness and decision to seek help to change the negative scripted dynamic beginning to emerge. We identify what part of their script is beneficial as well as how they fall into the negative outcomes. It is essential to realize that this is a dynamic between two individuals. Each person has brought themselves to the relationship and must take responsibility. Taking responsibility and not blaming results in change.
Couples have often said they come away with “real tools” after seeing me for the first time. I certainly feel that way too! Several couples have entered Couples Group Therapy and helped create and maintain positive change in their lives. Call today to schedule an appointment or for a free phone consultation.
Tevis Steere, LCSW    Steere Family Therapy     502-295-5008

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